Two Princes

Link to game

This game makes me cry.

Not because its another pretentious art game (which it isn't by the way), or because its bail in Flash format (that makes me angry, not sad).  Its because this could have been a decent game I would like to play to the end.

Quick summary of game.  You have taken control of Sir Valiant Moustache and Steve: two... princes I guess... trying to rescue a princess that gets kidnapped in an opening scene.  Ok, so there is a partner system like in other games I've seen.

They look cute together

This game had some interesting moments.  The duality does open up some really interesting puzzling moments and outside some platformer hell moments the game does use its retro ascetic to convey the wacky humour that this game is about.

Its a shame that its broken.

Lets start with a boss fight early on where all you do is swing, run, and prey.

Go Steve

I'll admit there is a latter one that takes full advantage of the partner system, but really?

Now, there is an interesting system where upon death you can fill up your hearts based on the number of hearts you shoot down.

I shit you not!

I haven't figured out the formula for it though, but I was able to figure out the timing enough to get three or four when I became alive again.  At least you don't die and have to restart the level.

Course, the moments that really made me want to cry were the moments when I saw clear lag... in a game sponsered by Armor Games.  No, I'm serious, the game would freeze a bunch and unfreeze... which is a sign of incompetant programming... my duel-core 8Gb of RAM should be able to run a flash app without freezing or lag.  I've complained about Crystal Story taking too fucking long to load, and someone does this?

Meanwhile, there is a shopping system, alongside a minigame that can help you gain coins... and also gain coins from waddling around the game.

Seriously, what does any of it mean?

Then there is the dept in the duality.  Deep as in Steve can't swim because he's armor is too heavy and Sir Valiant can't go into caves because... he's a giant pussy apparently.  Other than that they are identical.  Take from that what you will.

I stopped playing when they get a "your princess is in another castle" in the form of a fat princess and a bedroom code-monkey that equates fat to ugly because he's never heard of Anna Nicole Smith.  Fucking around in the realm of "I don't know what to do next so I'll hurl myself onto spikes" later I decided I wasn't engaged enough to bother continuing.

Did I mention this was a platformer?  Lord knows that it controlled just like a flash platformer.

Course, back to the point.  This game could have been amazing if just more competent in its execution.  I'm a programmer in training and I know how syntax works and how algorithms work, and I know that the game didn't have to have technical failures, like bounce jumping and button presses at times being ignored.

This is why the game made me cry.